Sunday, August 26, 2007

Global Warming Toys From Panic Inc.

Is your child apathetic or indifferent to the global warming crisis? Not any more! Now you too can have these ultra trendy global warming toys for your children. You're sure to cause a sensation! But don't wait till Christmas (oops! we mean winter festival) Get 'em while they're hot!

No Baby Jesus here, just wholesome Earth friendly indoctrination for the entire family! You'll have peace of mind knowing your children won't be learning any myths, no just pure science!

  • Not sold in any big oil stores!
  • Buy now and you'll receive 10 whole carbon forgiveness credits from Al Gore's company!
  • Your children will learn to be hysterical the way they should be!


The kids will have hours of indoctrination with our new Jill Jitters doll. Her vocabulary matches that of any global warming disciple. (Minus some of the four letter words) She is state of the art and comes with over 100 well worn GW slogans used around the world. They'll learn winning slogans for any occasion whether it's debates, family reunions, arguments, or protests.

Buy now and you'll also receive your free copy of the Global Warming Bible - An Inconvenient Truth. No home or dorm room should be without two or three or more copies of this gem!

Not to be outdone by Jill Jitters is Knut! (Below) This cute little guy will guilt your children in no time! With over 50 manipulative statements designed to make them wish humanity would be exterminated from Mother Earth forever!


- But wait, there's more! They'll learn good science too! They'll learn how man-made global warming will cause:

  • Billions to die of floods, drought, famine and plagues!
  • Millions of species to go extinct!
  • Increased tsunamis!
  • Increased hurricanes!
  • Increased floods!
  • Increased volcanism!
  • The Earth to literally explode!
  • And much more!

And all of this backed by serious scientists! What more could you want for your children?!! Act now, before it's too late. Order today before the world ends! You'll be so glad you did, after all you can't take your money with you!

Now you can get all this for about the cost of one month of lattes! Shipping is free! (After paying carbon offsets for transport)




10 comments:

Dave B said...

Very creative and funny! Let's not give em any ideas though. This could actually happen in the liberal world.

jojobean said...

Global warming is no laughing matter. I actually think this would be a good idea for children. you must be a sick person - and you to daveb.

Anonymous said...

Hehehehehehe... this really illustrates how asinine and fearful the global warming faithful are. What a bunch of total idiots!!!

Many of them actually DO believe the Earth will literally explode and that tsunamies ARE caused by global warming. These are sure signs that our educational system is not just a failure, but a total disaster.

Polar bear numbers are growing to record numbers so what is the liberal answer? They're ENDANGERED because of global warming! Why weren't they endangered before when their numbers were far less? What a bunch of mindless lunatics!!!

Sabrina said...

People should read this.

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